Saturday, April 16, 2005

An Encounter With The Pseudo Messiah

I saw the pseudo-Messiah (i.e: Andy Lee) on the way back from this morning’s visit to my GP. When he saw me he scurried back into his flat. ‘That’s right, run away,’ I muttered with grim satisfaction.

During my consultation Dr. S. said that the way in which I am coping with the aftermath of the assault and the fire was ‘admirable’. ‘You are clearly a strong person.’ I wondered if I should destroy his delusion by declaring that I don’t particularly care what happens to me. (But hen again maybe that’s the ultimate form of sanity – recognising your own utter insignificance against the backdrop of the universe. After all, what is one life?) Or should I tell him that I have frequent fantasies of skewering the Pseudo-Messiah with the sword-stick that Doug gave me, roasting him over an open fire and serving him up to his disciples at a celebratory dinner party. Not especially admirable really.

In the end I let Dr. S. live with his delusions.

I watched Girl Interrupted for the tenth time and wondered if I could be a sociopath like the character Lisa (admirably played by Angelina Jolie).


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