Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Closing Ranks

I couldn't get an appointment with Dr. L.C. until 4.30 pm so I spent the day working on an article I've commissioned to write about class prejudice - a subject on which I am something of an expert. I turned up ten minutes late for my appointment. I have an injury to my spine as a result of the assault so I was forced to walk more slowly than usual. Fortunately, Dr. L.C. was also running late.

'I'm sorry about what you've been through,' she said, as I entered her surgery. I'm growing weary of hearing that but I appreciate the sentiments. I gave her a brief account of what had happened. She laughed when I told her my response to the C.P.N.'s over-earnest: 'We just want to make sure you're not suicidal.'

I had replied: 'No, I'm homicidal.'

'They obviously weren't that concerned about his safety then.'

'No, I suppose they weren't. That's of some comfort.'

She advised me to try and shed the fear but to hold on to the anger: 'It can be extremely empowering.'

I told her that I was determined to change psychiatrists. What I didn't tell her was that I believe Dr H. is an incompetent fucktard. I don't think that would have gone down very well. In my experience doctors are tremendously (and sometimes fanatically) loyal to one another. These things have to be handled subtly. Never openly attempt to turn a doctor against a colleague. They respond by closing ranks and then you're lost.

I've learnt that much at least.

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