Thursday, February 16, 2006

Oh! I've woken up again! O dear!

Valentines Day is over, over, over. I got a single red rose from my Secret Stalker. (Or maybe it was someone I knew, just to inject some 'romance' (P*U*K*E)in my reclusive life style.)

Why do we fall?

Something is going on inside me. I sunk down in the red velvet sofa and sobbed and sobbed until there was nothing left inside me. After the choking, gulping, sniffing had stopped and all traces of tears had been washed away, I shut the noises/voices/screams/whispers firmly back into my head again - into that black, velvet box that is locked tightly. That Black Box is full of terrors and fears. In the background the turntable was playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. Perhaps that was a mistake.

Pessimism is passive nihilism.
And this anxiety is a noose around my neck


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