Suffering in Silence

I can only begin to imagine the kind of pain the family of Mark Saunders must be feeling right now. Losing a loved one to suicide (and that's exactly what it was) is one of the worst things that can happen to you.

Because of my situation (I have a mental illness and have spent rather a lot of time in hospital) I've lost several close friends to suicide. The repercussions of their actions cannot be underestimated. Journalists have repeatedly emphasised the fact that Mr Saunders was a barrister, destined for great things, as if that somehow should have rendered him immune to mental illness. I would imagine, if anything, that his situation exacerbated his condition. He was intelligent and resourceful, a 'high flyer'; he was not expected to ask for help and so he didn't.

Last year an ex boyfriend, A made his fourth suicide attempt. Like Mr Saunders, A was also a high-achiever. He worked in the City and it was amidst the intensity of that world that he had a nervous breakdown. He goes further: he calls it a meltdown. His name for it is his 'Chernobyl'. After his first suicide attempt he requested help. He didn't receive any. All the health services in his area had to offer was a cocktail of medication. People have asked why Mr Saunders did not ask for help. I'm speculating wildly here but maybe he did and was turned away like one in three people suffering from mental health problems who appeal to the NHS for help.

The authorities will conduct their inquiry. We'll shake our heads and ask ourselves why it had to happen and why it should never happen again. But nothing will change and it will happen again. Over and over again.

The Language of Cats

Cat Phrase Meaning

miaow: Feed me.
meeow: Pet me.
mrooww: I love you.
miioo-oo-oo: I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up.
mrow: I feel like making noise.
rrrow-mawww: Please, the time is come to tidy the cat box.
rrrow-miawww: I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the contents as far out of the box as was practical.
miaowmiaow: Play with me.
miaowmioaw: Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room?
mioawmioaw: Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture.
raowwwww: I think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy.
mrowwwww: I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.
roww-maww-roww: I am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries. I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen.
mmeww: I believe I have heard a burglar. If you would like to go and beat him senseless, I shall be happy to keep your spot in the bed warm.
gakk-ak-ak: My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from? I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.
mow: Snuggling is a good idea.
moww: Shedding is pretty good, too.
mowww!: I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in this warm clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly.
miaow! miaow!: I have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge his body through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate.
mraakk!: Oh, small bird! Please come over here.
ssssroww!: I believe that I have found a woodchuck. I shall now act terribly brave.
mmmmmmm: If I sit in the sunshine for another week or so, I think I shall be satisfied.
mreoaw: Please ask room service to send up another can of tuna fish.
mreeeow: Do you serve catnip with that?
mroow: I have forced my body into a tiny space in order to look cute. How am I doing?
miaooww! mriaow!: Since you are using the can opener, I am certain that you understand the value of a well-fed and pampered cat. Please continue.

From feline to canine: I hope the doggy in this story will be okay.

A father of two? Now, that is depressing!

Oh Dear

Page 171:

'I always know I'm in a council property because:

a) They have a kind of fuggy, overpowering warmth that you only get if you're not paying the heating bill; and
b) there's always a massive plasma TV in the corner of the room with SKY+ always on'

Of course, it's a well known fact that all council tenants are clones of one another and so are their houses, unlike the sophisticated middle Englanders PC Copperfield seems to identify with and respect. A full review of PC Copperfield's (PC? Haven't you made it to sergeant yet?) little effort will grace these pages soon.

Verdict so far: Theodore Dalrymple without the extensive vocabulary.

Software of the Week: Artrage.

Online To Do list of the Week: Remember the Milk

Also check out 37 Signals Tada

Breaking News: BellaCat is unwell. The vet will make a home visiit tomorrow. I dread losing her - she is 17. Old for a cat but too young for me. And still no news about my father only that he is in a hospital bed hooked up to tubes having lost a quarter of his body weight. He is 62. Still young in the eyes of many. Something or someone has unleashed the fury of a tropical storm.

I feel compelled to add that this cast is not listed in order of importance but rather in order of appearance.